WILLFUL BLINDNESS
- Website Admin
- Apr 22, 2020
- 17 min read
"REDISCOVERING THE COURAGEOUS CALL TO A MINISTRY OF CONFRONTATION"
Martyr, theologian, and pastor, Dietrich Bonhoeffer once stated, “Nothing can be more cruel than the leniency which abandons others to their sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one’s community back from the path of sin.”[i]
It would seem that Bonhoeffer had in view the fact that silence in such scenarios is equivalent to lovelessness. But let’s be honest, confronting sin in our own life is grueling but confronting it in the life of another person is excruciatingly difficult. I suppose this is why it’s so easy in those situations to simply remain silent. Nobody likes to do it. Confrontation will likely never make the “to do” list with a smiling emoji beside it! This is true for multiple reasons, not the least of which is the fact that to do so, to confront the person and the sin, is oftentimes an act that places an “x” on your chest. After all, doesn’t Scripture instruct us to not judge?[ii] Isn’t it more or less an admission that we are plank-eye parishioners the very moment we point out a “so-called” speck in the life of another person?[iii] Isn’t a person’s spiritual life private? Isn’t it the Holy Spirit’s job to convict of sin; who do we think we are? Such is the challenge before you when you consider the notion of lovingly confronting sin in another believer's life.
It’s not at all far-fetched to conclude that if we were to base our decision to confront or not to confront on the typical proof-verse aversion which is so common, it would simply never happen. With just a cursory consideration, one is left to conclude that unless your name is Jesus and you can walk on water, you shouldn’t even think about confronting sin in the life of another believer. But is this the biblical perspective? Is it true that we should never judge the behavior of another person? Further, is it also true that confronting another person over a pattern of sin is admission to self-blindness? Is silence really the best approach to maintain peace?
The risk is real. When we do cross that proverbial line and choose to call out the sin in another’s life, we nearly always risk the danger of being misunderstood and maligned. There’s always a cost. Perhaps this is the reason so few professing believers actually practice such an approach. It’s nothing for fellow believers to turn a blind eye, ignore, or pass the buck when it comes to seeing a sin pattern in the life of a friend, family member, leader, or fellow church member. It happens all the time. The reason is simple, at the end of the day, each person innately realizes that confronting comes at a cost! This is true in the realm of family as well as friendships. It’s also true in the workplace and within the context of the local church. Confronting comes at a cost. It always does. In some cases, the cost may be a friendship, it may result in the loss of intimacy with a family member, and it may even cost you a job or a career.
Make no mistake, there is a cost that comes with confronting. But should we be surprised at this? If biblical confrontation of sin in another’s life is in fact “biblical”, if it is a responsibility that God has placed upon us, it should be of no surprise that it will be a costly path to travel. This is what Jesus must have had in mind when he said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23 ESV) Living out the Christian life as we follow our Lord is a “cross-carrying” endeavor. It will come with pain and discomfort and will rarely be the comfy life of convenience. No, we should not engage in a destructive life, looking for trouble, but neither should we expect to do that which God calls us to at no personal cost.
This begs the question, “Does Scripture actually call for us as believers to confront patterns of sin in the lives of fellow believers?” Are we really expected to “meddle” in the affairs of others over matters of sin? The answer is a definitive “yes”. Understanding this must begin with a realization that as believers, we are in this together. This is both a truth to celebrate as well as a fact to appropriate. Try as we may, we can never eradicate the fact that the Christian life is not lived on an island, it’s lived within a family. 1 Corinthians 12 may say much more but is certainly says nothing less than this, we are in this together! So true is this that Paul even states the following in 1 Corinthians 12:26 “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” Consequently, when we see a brother or sister suffering from a pattern of sin, it must be concluded that it’s a family matter and not a moment for fearful retreat. One author describes it this way:
If you are faithful in this ministry of correction, you’ll often get accused of not being loving. But love is not syrupy sentiment. If someone is heading downstream toward a waterfall, is it loving to stand by shaking your head and watching the person cruise toward destruction, or is it loving to do all you can to warn him? Real love has the courage to confront someone who is going astray. We’re all accountable to God to love others. Obedience to God means that we must swallow our fears and correct those we know of who are going astray.[iv]
Let’s consider a few of the most direct statements from Scripture that deal with the ministry of confrontation.
1. 1 Corinthians 5:1–6 (ESV) — 1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. 3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord. 6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?
Here in our first passage of consideration, we’re brought face to face with a scenario in which an entire church seems to have chosen silent apathy over loving confrontation. Paul would have nothing of it. It’s a serious matter. Notice that in this passage, Paul is dealing with the reality that the church in Corinth had knowingly allowed the practice of sin in the lives of some of its members to go unchecked. In this particular case, it was sin of a sexual nature. Don’t let that distract you. The principle which Paul lays down here applies in a much more broad fashion. Of interest is the fact that Paul makes it abundantly clear that it is those within the church that we are to “judge”, not unbelievers outside the church. Then he gives the principle, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump”. That’s it. Don’t miss it.
In essence what he says is that despite what we might like to think, a little bad goes a long way. Leaven, like sin, is small in substance but powerful; it often works secretly; it always “puffs up”, it spreads. Like a body invaded by cancer, the church had a responsibility to identify that which was already making it sick and deal with it. With love, yes! But also with urgency!
Paul continues with the following in 1 Corinthians 5:9–13 “9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you.’”
Paul seems to disagree with the erroneous idea that believers are to completely shy away from judging. On the contrary, it would seem that believers are to be committed to a ministry of confrontation which includes a form of “judging”.
2. Galatians 6:1–3 (ESV) — 1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
In this passage, Paul seems to have in view a scenario in which a fellow believer has been found out. His or her sin has come out of the darkness and in some measure has been revealed in plain sight. In such cases, though one may wish to simply remain quiet and refuse to meddle, Scripture makes clear that this is not a time for silence. On the contrary, with a goal of restoring the transgressor, a mission of restoration must ensue. Although Paul leaves the details out at this point, it would be foolish for us to believe that this would not include the need to call attention to the sinful behavior. The only way a believer engaging in a pattern of sin can be restored is to deal with the darkness. As we do so, Paul is clear that we are to equally watch ourselves in an effort to make sure we guard against falling into sin while attempting to rescue the other person. Silence and glossing over it is simply not an option for those who are called to love one another.
3. Matthew 7:1–6 (ESV) — 1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. 6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
Ironically, the very passage that is often used to discredit or deny the appropriateness of engaging in a ministry of confrontation, is one of the more powerful passages in support of it. Yes, Jesus’ teaching does begin with the call to “Judge not, that you not be judged”. He goes on to explain that the type of judgment and measure of it that you pour out will come back to you. This seems to be a warning that we should wield the tool of judgment carefully because failing to do so may cause personal injury. If His teaching were to stop at this point, perhaps the naysayers would have a leg to stand on.
However, quite inconveniently, Jesus continues with an illustration in order to assist us in applying His teaching. Here he paints a picture of a “concerned” believer approaching a person whom he or she feels is walking in unconfessed sin, described as a “speck in the eye”. As the concerned believer approaches the “speck-eyed” transgressor, it becomes clear that they will never be able to effectively help them because they have a large plank stuck in their own eye.
The hyperbole is clear; there’s simply no way to assist a person struggling with a speck in his or her eye unless the plank is removed from your own. Only then does the concerned believer have the ability to see things clearly. Then comes the subtle turn in Jesus' teaching. Far from eliminating the need for believers to engage in the ministry of confrontation, Jesus' intention is clear, judge yourself first and then and only then judge others (ministry of confrontation). Here’s how he says it, “5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. The whole point seems to be that taking the speck out of your brother’s eye is good, right, and necessary, but in order to do it well, you will need to be able to see clearly.
But keep in mind, even when you have engaged in self-evaluation and have taken all the necessary steps to prepare for a healthy encounter of biblical confrontation, there is no way to determine how the other person will respond. Take a look at what Jesus says next, “6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”
These words are both difficult to swallow and worthy of embrace. On the one hand, we’re reminded that in some cases, no matter our personal effort, there will be times in which our best efforts will be met with rejection and careless trampling underfoot. On the other hand, we’re reminded that the ministry of confrontation is a holy and valuable treasure. Bottom line, we are called to confront, called to judge and called to discern. When it becomes clear that the person we are attempting to confront lack a heart to hear, it’s time to move on. No good can come from attempting to force the ministry of confrontation when the other party views our words as nothing better than pig-slop. Nevertheless, this in no way suggests that the biblical confrontation is wrong or out of place, only that we need to be discerning when attempting to engage in it.
4. Matthew 18:15–20 (ESV) — 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Perhaps the most well-known and least understood of all the “confrontation” passages in Scripture is Matt 18. Although it’s difficult to assert precisely what Jesus had in mind when giving this teaching, it seems that He likely had in view a scenario where an individual has committed a personal sin against another. In fact, some manuscripts add the words “against you” which can be seen in the NIV translation, “Matthew 18:15 (NIV84) — 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Whether it can be applied more broadly is a question for another time but a strong argument could be made that this is primarily focused on scenarios where a fellow believer has caused offense against another. In such cases, the teaching is clear, the offended believer is to go and confront in private. The goal is, of course, to win your brother and reconcile. However, as this passage makes clear, if the offending brother refuses to listen, steps are laid out which increases in intensity. That which can be said for certain is that the ministry of confrontation is not always clean-cut, sometimes it gets messy. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you will not be well-received.
5. 1 Timothy 5:18–21 (ESV) — 18 For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.” 19 Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. 21 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.
In 1 Timothy 5:17-25, Paul is providing some much-needed instruction for Elders of the local church and in doing so, he provides valuable insight about those scenarios in which the leaders of the local church (Elders) are those walking in sin. Make no mistake, every leader is a flawed leader, every messenger is a flawed messenger, every preacher is a flawed preacher. However, the fact that all leaders are sinful men is a far different matter than a particular elder walking in sin or living out a pattern of sin.
Nevertheless, due to the very public nature of an Elders role and the very real possibility of him being on the receiving end of malicious attacks, Paul provides a guardrail and states that a charge should not be brought against an Elder unless it can be validated by more than one witness or accuser. This is vitally important in order to provide protection to the under-shepherds of a local church. However, don’t miss the dual emphasis. Not only is it important to protect the Elders, it's also important to hold them accountable. Indeed, Paul goes so far as to say that if such an Elder persists in the sin pattern, he is to be rebuked before the collective church. This should not be surprising due to the fact that patterns of sin in the life of an Elder oftentimes carry with them a public dynamic.
That said, don’t miss the point that Paul makes in the latter portion of verse 21, “I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.” The temptation is very real in such scenarios. On the one hand, there may be a temptation to prematurely accept a charge against an Elder and even go so far as to judge the matter before gathering the facts. In such cases, a fellow elder has little chance to remain unscathed by a potentially malicious attack. However, it’s the other side I believe that is likely more in view. Leaders often stick together, watch each other's backs, and guard the proverbial gates. Story after story is told of churches that allowed a sinning leader to continue in his duties with little to no consequence brought to bear, in spite of the fact that his misdeeds were well-known. Sad, but true. Consequently, it's not at all uncommon for fellow leaders to protect, excuse, and even justify the accused, both through what is said and not said.
Paul says, don’t do it, don’t bypass the rules I’ve laid out, (keep in mind, he had just stated that an Elder that persists in sin should be rebuked before the collective group), don’t prejudge the matter before giving an honest effort at uncovering the facts, don’t play favorites because you share both history and responsibility together; partiality will simply not do! When silence is chosen over confrontation, sin is equally chosen over consecration, God forbid!
Clearly, the Scripture is not silent on the subject! The ministry of confrontation or correction is a personal and collective responsibility for the church. Furthermore, failing to lovingly confront the sin in the lives of others is more or less the same as handing them one oar, a broken compass, and a sinking boat, while encouraging them towards safe travels. As Bonhoeffer said so well, it’s cruel! This is why it’s vitally important to not only understand this topic of biblical confrontation but also to practice it with eyes wide open. It will never be easy, will always be costly, and will rarely be celebrated. Yet, it must be done. In genuine biblical confrontation, pride will never be the fuel that drives the encounter and glorifying God must always be the goal. Further, the purpose is not to tear down but to build up, not to punish but rescue, not to humiliate but to consecrate.
So then, the ministry of confrontation could be defined as the act of glorifying God through lovingly speaking the truth to fellow believers who are stuck in a pattern of sin. Consequently, if glorifying God is to be our primary goal, we’re left to consider the fact that lovingly confronting sin in the lives of others can be a great success even when the matter doesn’t go as you desire. This is hard. Excruciating even.
Ken Sande touches on this when he says the following:
“It is easier to accept your limits if you have a biblical view of success. The world defines success in terms of what a person possesses, controls, or accomplishes. God defines success in terms of faithful obedience to his will. The world asks, 'What results have your achieved?' God asks, 'Were you faithful to my ways?”
Another author describes it this way:
Be prepared for unexpected responses. We have to keep our expectations in check. How we hope the person will respond can’t be the goal. We should be prepared for a response of anger or denial. We must leave the results up to God. A person’s initial response may be one of anger or hurt, but allow time for the Holy Spirit to work in his or her heart. Confronting others is not always easy and can seem unkind. Yet, in reality, it’s a loving thing to do. We can follow Jesus’ example as He demonstrated honor for His Father when He confronted while on earth. Lovingly confronting, rebuking, and correcting demonstrates we are living for the King and the Kingdom. In all things, may God be glorified![v]
What is success in the ministry of confrontation? Faithfulness. That’s it. Yes, it is always worth celebrating when your efforts are received by an open heart and listening ears. It’s always praiseworthy when your difficult conversation results in a brother or sister being pulled back from the brink of destruction. However, success in the ministry of confrontation or correction is first found when we simply do what God calls us to do, in love, with grace, and for the primary purpose of glorifying God. Then, we leave the results up to God. Simple, yes. Easy, not at all!
SO, WHAT ARE WE TO TAKE AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS?
5 TRUTHS TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MINISTRY OF CONFRONTATION
GOD HASN’T CALLED US TO “EASY”… STOP FOOLING YOURSELF AND EXPECT SOME THINGS TO BE HARD!
CONFRONTING IS NECESSARY BUT NOT ALWAYS NECESSARY…IF AN OFFENSE CAN BE COVERED IN LOVE, DO IT!
SUCCESS MUST NEVER BE EQUATED WITH “DESIRED RESULTS”… BE FAITHFUL AND TRUST GOD FOR THE OUTCOME!
THE MINISTRY OF CONFRONTATION WILL LEAVE YOU WITH SCARS; EXPECT OPPOSITION, EXPECT TO BE MALIGNED AND MISUNDERSTOOD, AND EXPECT IT TO HURT.
ALTHOUGH WE CAN CALL ATTENTION TO ROTTEN FRUIT, ONLY GOD CAN DEAL WITH A DISEASED ROOT; DON’T MISUNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MESSENGER AND THE MAKER, YOU ARE THE FORMER!
5 STEPS TO BETTER ENGAGE IN THE MINISTRY OF CONFRONTATION
BE HUMBLE, YOU MAY BE THE ONE IN NEED OF CONFRONTATION NEXT.
BE PRAYERFUL, SPIRITUAL BATTLES MUST BE FOUGHT WITH SPIRITUAL POWER.
BE MINDFUL, JUDGING THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS BEFORE JUDGING YOURSELF IS A RECIPE FOR FAILURE.
BE COURAGEOUS, THE MINISTRY OF CONFRONTATION IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
BE HOPEFUL, YOU NEVER KNOW HOW GOD WILL ULTIMATELY USE YOUR FAITHFULNESS FOR HIS GLORY.
For sure, confrontation will come at a cost. Yet, make no mistake, the failure to confront will be even more costly. This is true when you are the one possessing knowledge of a pattern of sin in a fellow believer's life but you refuse to speak up. It’s also true when you contribute to a culture of cover-up through silence and side-stepping. Though the issue may at first seem a small matter, eventually an unhealthy culture will result in undesirable results. The slippery slope of sin is real and unfortunately, as has been said in the past, sin will always cost you more than you planned to pay and keep you longer than you planned to stay. For the love of the Church we must commit to a ministry of confrontation for the glory of God.
If you’ve been the victim of spiritual abuse or found yourself on the receiving end of personal attack due to your efforts to speak the truth in love, you are not alone. May God bless you with renewed joy and strengthen you to overcome. Should you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out. I would be thrilled to connect with you and offer some encouragement.
[i] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Christian Community [ii] This is based off of the Matthew 7:1 passage but it must be understood in context. In fact, just a few verses following, you discover that Jesus very much wishes for us to judge when he says in verse 6 Jesus says, “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine….” In verse 15 He adds, “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” [iii] See Matthew 7:5. [iv] Pastor and Author Steven Cole, https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-15-ministry-correction-1-timothy-51-2 [v] https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2017/10/18/the-beauty-of-confrontation/
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